Thursday, March 22, 2012

Tender Mercies

I had a very sweet moment the other day and just wanted to record it so I would be able to look back and remind myself of just how sweet my life really is. It was Wednesday afternoon and I was just finished feeding Traegan. The afternoon lull had kicked in and a movie was on. Braden was snuggled up on the couch by my side and Traegan was in my arms. I was sending an email on my phone when I realized the amazing moment that was occurring. Braden was quiet and calm, Traegan was happy, cooing, and falling asleep in my arms.
My life was exactly what I dreamt it would be for that one moment. I was reminded in a flash exactly why I have chosen this path for my life. These boys, including Devin, mean more to me than anything I could have imagined and as many of you know, a mothers love can't really be described. My perfect life was right before my eyes. My Heavenly Father granted me a glimpse into my own life. Life as a stay at home mom can be crazy. There are always chores to be done, meals to be fixed, diapers to be changed, and happiness to be conjured up out of thin air. It is so easy to get caught up in the hustle of life and forget what we have.
One of my dearest friends and I used to laugh saying during crazy moments something along the lines of "This wasn't what I dreamed it would be!" speaking of motherhood. And in all honestly many times it isn't. Catching a load of poop in my hand mid-diaper change, cleaning up spilled milk for the 10th time in one day, putting Braden on timeout in his room, hearing him scream and throw his toys is certainly not my idea of a good time.
However, when Bradens little voice tells me that he loves me out of the blue, or when he says okay Mom when I ask him to do something; When Traegan sweet little blue eyes stare up into mine and the somber look on his face wipes away for a brief moment and he lovingly smiles at me, those are the moments I would pay anything to have! In that quiet moment with my sweet boys in my arms, my Heavenly Father confirmed to me exactly why I chose this path for myself. These sweet little boys are my world and although it is wild and fast paced and crazy sometimes, there is no other life that could be more fulfilling for me.

"But behold, I Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance." (1 Nephi 1:20)

This scripture has never had so much meaning in my life as it does now. The Lord has truly shown me a tender mercy in my life, at a time when I was able to recognize it. I am so thankful for the scriptures, for a loving Heavenly Father who knows me and my needs, for a sweet and loving family who help me learn and grow in ways that I do not know. I love being a mother and being able to stay home with my boys. Deep down this is exactly the life I had always dreamt of as a girl and there is no other way I would want my life to be than the way it is at this very moment. I am blessed beyond measure.


Chelise said...

Dido my dear! Thank you for being real and reminding me that, "YES! This is the life I always wanted too!" MIss you to the max!

Court and Tim said...

Love it!

Rachelle said...

Yes, beautiful.

David and Deena said...

That was a masterful reminder to all you young mothers. I LOVE you and THANK you for putting into words the heart of mothers. Made me feel truly joyful!

David A. Christensen said...

This is Dad "C"…. I love you Ash!! I love my boy and my boy's boys and I'm so glad they all three have you!!! You make me happy!

The Higginbothams said...

Well said! That's great you had a moment of reflection at that point. Thanks for the reminder.