Friday, March 23, 2012
We had a huge play week. Having friends every day this week except for Friday. Needless to say Braden has been worn out every day. On an especially long day, after we walked our friends home, both of his friends, Tess and Taylor, climbed into bed almost as soon as we got there and Braden played for a little while longer while their Mom and I visited. I knew that Braden would crash as soon as we got home. So even though it was already 3:30 I knew he probably needed a little nap. We walked in the door and I turned on a movie so I could get Traegan fed and put down and before I knew it, Braden was out. I let him stay like that for a few minutes thinking he would wake up, but after he didn't I decided I should lay him down so his legs wouldn't fall asleep.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
This week Braden and I hosted playgroup at our house. The weather was already amazing at 9am when the kids started to arrive so at 10 we headed straight outside for a nature walk and picnic snack. It was my first playgroup not being big and pregnant so it was just delightful! All of the kids were so excited to get out and play. First we headed to the mail box and the hook ups for firehoses. The boys were in heaven. They took of down the street so so fast. The oldest little boy, Matthew, tried to keep it together for a while and started telling the younger boys, Braden and Ryder to stop running and stay close, but very quickly, he took off right with them. Cute little Rozzi held my hand the entire time. Oh the differences between boys and girls were 100% apparent the entire time. It was such a blast! I don't know why it took me two years to figure that one out. I cant wait to do it again on the next warm day.During the middle leg of our walk, we were lucky enough to spot a snail, a huge butterfly that stuck around long enough for all the kids to see, and a shy roly poly bug. I was surprised that Rozzi wasn't the one saying 'ewww' but that it was the apparently not so tough Ryder!
I had a very sweet moment the other day and just wanted to record it so I would be able to look back and remind myself of just how sweet my life really is. It was Wednesday afternoon and I was just finished feeding Traegan. The afternoon lull had kicked in and a movie was on. Braden was snuggled up on the couch by my side and Traegan was in my arms. I was sending an email on my phone when I realized the amazing moment that was occurring. Braden was quiet and calm, Traegan was happy, cooing, and falling asleep in my arms.
My life was exactly what I dreamt it would be for that one moment. I was reminded in a flash exactly why I have chosen this path for my life. These boys, including Devin, mean more to me than anything I could have imagined and as many of you know, a mothers love can't really be described. My perfect life was right before my eyes. My Heavenly Father granted me a glimpse into my own life. Life as a stay at home mom can be crazy. There are always chores to be done, meals to be fixed, diapers to be changed, and happiness to be conjured up out of thin air. It is so easy to get caught up in the hustle of life and forget what we have.
One of my dearest friends and I used to laugh saying during crazy moments something along the lines of "This wasn't what I dreamed it would be!" speaking of motherhood. And in all honestly many times it isn't. Catching a load of poop in my hand mid-diaper change, cleaning up spilled milk for the 10th time in one day, putting Braden on timeout in his room, hearing him scream and throw his toys is certainly not my idea of a good time.
However, when Bradens little voice tells me that he loves me out of the blue, or when he says okay Mom when I ask him to do something; When Traegan sweet little blue eyes stare up into mine and the somber look on his face wipes away for a brief moment and he lovingly smiles at me, those are the moments I would pay anything to have! In that quiet moment with my sweet boys in my arms, my Heavenly Father confirmed to me exactly why I chose this path for myself. These sweet little boys are my world and although it is wild and fast paced and crazy sometimes, there is no other life that could be more fulfilling for me.
"But behold, I Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance." (1 Nephi 1:20)
This scripture has never had so much meaning in my life as it does now. The Lord has truly shown me a tender mercy in my life, at a time when I was able to recognize it. I am so thankful for the scriptures, for a loving Heavenly Father who knows me and my needs, for a sweet and loving family who help me learn and grow in ways that I do not know. I love being a mother and being able to stay home with my boys. Deep down this is exactly the life I had always dreamt of as a girl and there is no other way I would want my life to be than the way it is at this very moment. I am blessed beyond measure.